About the book
After getting married and travelling the world, at the age of 30, Robyn and her husband decided to start a family, but after 12 heartbreaking months of trying alone, finally accepted that they had infertility. What came next was a gruelling year and a half of invasive fertility treatments, complications from medications and a soul crushing miscarriage. On her quest to fall pregnant and manage the incredible stress caused by treatments, Robyn researched, asked questions and reached out to others, discovering a number of powerful strategies to not only help her survive infertility, but thrive despite it. In this book, Robyn reveals her heartfelt, moving and inspiring journey, and uses her experience to share the lessons she learnt on this life changing journey from trying to conceive to motherhood.
The year before we’d began trying for a baby I was at the baby shower of a close friend, and she had another friend there, Annette. There were only three of us there who didn’t have children. One was me (who secretly in the back of my head had an inkling that we’d begin trying at 30), another friend who was single, and Annette. I have clear vision of her saying “Oh yuck. Kids, no. Nowhere near that point.” And then one day at the supermarket I ran into her. And she was about eight months pregnant. My heart just sank, like the anchor of a ship dropping to the bottom if the ocean. Of all the people in the world, and even though I didn’t know her that well, I think there was a part of me that thought that although everyone else around me was having children, at least she wasn’t there yet. And then she was. I just panicked. She was having a baby too, just like everyone else. At that moment it felt like I was the only person in the world who didn’t have a child. I was truly alone. I had to get out of there. I could feel myself start to hyperventilate and I just blurted out “hi, oh congratulations, gotta run, sorry I’m running late for something,” and I turned, and walked straight out, trying to breathe and hold my tears in until I at least made it to the car. I raced home, walked through the front door and straight onto our bed, bursting into tears. This was awful. We were supposed to have children before her, and we were getting left behind. Ross heard me sobbing and came to the bedroom, and looked at me, confused and unsure of what he was supposed to do. I cried all the time, and so frequently that he felt helpless, and useless at comforting me.
This wasn’t natural selection at all. We were healthy, middle class, mentally stable people. We would make incredible parents. Meanwhile, all these people, like drug addicts and child abusers, who shouldn’t, are popping out children. This was unfair. Where was Mother Nature? She was getting it all wrong. And then there were stories of people who stopped trying and then miraculously fell pregnant. Someone’s husbands, friends, sisters, cousin, no doubt.
“And why didn’t we just adopt?”
“Or had we tried just going on a holiday?”
“And we should really just try to stop stressing?”
EVERYONE NEEDED TO SHUT UP!!!
I was absolutely absorbed by this book. Even though I’ve never met Robyn I now feel like I know her and have experienced an insight into the turmoil of infertility. As someone who’s never had any fertility issues I also learnt a lot about how to gently and respectfully support those in my own world who’ve experienced similar stories to Robyn’s. So beautifully put together and brave to share her raw and honest story. Thank you Robyn!
Allison Davies, Registered Music Therapist, Oh My Musical Goodness
A great insight into what it is like to struggle with infertility.
Monique Phipps, The Nourished Psychologist
Robyn has perfectly captured the roller coaster of emotions that come with setting out on a path and encountering challenges you never imagined in her book Screw Infertility! From powerlessness and overwhelm to loneliness, self doubt and ultimately self love and acceptance. This honest, candid and heartfelt account of Robyn’s experience with infertility leaves you as a reader feeling like you’re not alone and that someone else understands what it is like to as Robyn describes in the book to “run a marathon without a finish line. As a Naturopath who sees women with fertility issues, I felt like this gave great insight at a practitioner level as to the emotions my clients might be feeling. This is a must-read for anyone in the healing space to help them better understand their clients.